Fifth Avenue Phatz

 

Here comes Fifth Avenue Phatz,

The hustler of Manhattan.

And, if you look at his stats,

He’s coming just to fatten

His bloated bank account,

And (on the side) to mount

Another nubile, ten-ranked honey, but

Mostly Phatz is coming for the money.

 

Here comes Fifth Avenue Phatz,

The connoisseur of pussy.

And, we’re not speaking of cats,

No, not your pussy wussy.

Beware, he’ll cop a feel.

That’s his “art of the deal.”

Though you may not think that’s so funny, still

Next to pussy, Phatz is grabbing money.

 

The fat man of Fifth Avenue,

If you’re a ten, he might grope you.

Collecting debts, you must await

The current ruble exchange rate.

There goes Fifth Avenue Phatz,

For chay and medoviki.

And his financial chitchats

With Russians, (could be sticky.)

He likes that Russian dough

And everyone should know,

Although he likes those Russian honeycakes,

Phatz prefers them servin’ up the money.

 

Stephen Baird, November, 2017

 

Glossary: Medoviki—Russian honeycakes

Chay—Russian tea