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Donald’s Birthday Bash - Now, Donald Trump’s turned eighty and he’s still alive.We pray for understanding. Why does Trump still thrive?We can’t celebrate our two hundred fifty years;They’re stained by Trump’s existence, and rich buccaneers. Donald Trump disgraces our nation every day.Ask the Founding Fathers, what would they have to say?Did anyone envision that… Read More

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  • Pope Leo XIV Tells Trump and Hegseth That God Does Not Bless Conflicts June 15, 2026
    In a remarkable act of institutional self-preservation, the Catholic Church has issued a formal rebuke of the United States government’s claim that God is a co-belligerent in the Iran war. Pope Leo XIV, who is both the head of the world’s largest Christian denomination and apparently the only person left who has read the source […]
  • U.S. Military Commanders Tell Troops God Anointed Trump to Start Armageddon June 11, 2026
    According to a formal complaint filed with a military watchdog group in early 2026, a U.S. military commander told his combat unit — men and women with guns and aircraft and the capacity to start or end things — that “President Trump has been anointed by Jesus to light the signal fire in Iran to […]
  • Orlando CEO Named His Company “Goliath Ventures,” Stole $328 Million June 8, 2026
    Christopher Alexander Delgado, 34, CEO of Goliath Ventures — formerly known as Gen Z Venture Firm, because there are layers to this — was arrested in early 2026 for allegedly running a $328 million crypto Ponzi scheme out of Orlando. He promised investors guaranteed monthly returns of 3 to 8 percent from cryptocurrency liquidity pools. […]
  • Florida Man Tests Chick-fil-A’s “My Pleasure” Policy at the Drive-Thru June 4, 2026
    The Flagler County Sheriff’s Office arrested 33-year-old Luke Dudkewic in May 2026 after a teenage Chick-fil-A employee reported that while handing him his food through the drive-thru window, she noticed his genitals were exposed — along with, and we cannot stress this enough, a “blueish-green circular object” that she identified as a sex toy. Dudkewic […]
  • Florida Man Blows Fentanyl in Deputy’s Face, Claims It’s Sugar June 1, 2026
    Jesse James McAuliffe of Ocala, Florida — a man whose name contains both a famous outlaw and a Chick-fil-A employee — was arrested outside a Publix in May 2026 after he blew a bottle cap full of fentanyl directly into a deputy’s face. His stated defense: it was sugar. To be fair, fentanyl does rhyme […]