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Painted Blue - Donald Trump put himself on the ballotAnd the voters have painted him blue.Deep blue was the main hue on their palette; (1)So, the whole GOP’s feeling blue. Donald Trump had his big referendum,The results of which were pretty grim.Colloquially, here’s an addendum….Donald got his ass handed to him. The Republican’s… Read More
Have a Sandwich with Jesus
- Florida Man Robs Banks in Elderly Disguise, Titles His Memoir After God November 1, 2026David Sartin Jr., 40, of St. Petersburg, has allegedly solved the eternal bank-robbery dilemma of “how do I not get recognized” by becoming, convincingly, an old man. Twice. Federal prosecutors say Sartin robbed a Largo bank in August and a St. Petersburg bank in September wearing a prosthetic elderly-gentleman mask, politely instructing tellers to skip […]
- Federal Judge Says Actually, Banning Books You Haven’t Read Might Still Be Unconstitutional October 25, 2026A federal judge has ruled that a lawsuit challenging Utah’s school book ban law can proceed, rejecting the state’s attempt to get the case tossed out before authors and publishers even got their day in court. It is, refreshingly, a ruling that treats “the First Amendment might still apply here” as a live legal question […]
- Connecticut Court Reminds Everyone That ‘I Don’t Feel Like It’ Is Not a Religion October 22, 2026A Connecticut judge has upheld the state’s law eliminating religious exemptions for school vaccine requirements, closing out a four-year legal battle in which families argued that being required to vaccinate their kids before sending them into a room with two dozen other children violated their religious liberty. The court, apparently familiar with how diseases work, […]
- Man Climbs Massive L.A. Billboard to Personally Correct Jesus’s Theology October 18, 2026A billboard towering over Los Angeles carried a message some viewers considered theologically incorrect: a denial of Christ’s divinity. Rather than write a strongly worded letter, start a petition, or simply keep driving, one man decided the appropriate response was to climb the structure and paint over it himself, correcting the record to read “Jesus […]
- U.S. Commander Reportedly Informs Troops That Jesus Personally Anointed Trump to Go to War With Iran October 15, 2026Somewhere between the strategy briefings and the supply chain logistics, a U.S. military commander reportedly took a moment to inform troops that President Trump had been anointed by Jesus Christ himself to wage war on Iran. We assume this was delivered with the same tone of matter-of-fact authority usually reserved for weather updates and mess […]