Donald at the Bat – Day 871, Trump’s Tariffs

Day 871, Trump’s Tariffs


The world has got a brand new sheriff

And he’s set a brand new tone.

The weapon brandished is the tariff;

Trump can wield it on his own.

Trump thinks all foreign trade unfair if

Foreign folks don’t moan and groan.

And Donald’s shown us he won’t care if

Tariffs sink them like a stone.


But tariffs are like raising taxes;

All consumer prices rise.

The bluntest of all battle-axes,

Smiting all our hips and thighs,

Negotiating epistaxis—

Wrecked economies, the prize.

They last ‘til Donald Trump relaxes

And is winning in his eyes.


Is it the Donald’s narcissism

That made him decide to choose

This strategy of pugilism,

Tactics that will leave a bruise?

They smack of Donald’s atheism;

Everywhere we see the clues.

No blessings needed, nor baptism,

Tariffs, Trump’s own to abuse.


We’ve known that Chinese folks were stealing

Intellectual property

But tariffs left our farmers squealing;

(Chinese reciprocity.)

And Trump’s announcements leave the feeling

It might be stupidity

That’s making tariffs so appealing,

Classic Donald trumpery.


So, when brown folks come “caravanning,”

Why is Trump attacking trade?

Why would tariffs top his planning,

Although Wall Street is dismayed?

But wait, the fires that Trump was fanning—-

Could they have been a charade?

Perhaps from business critics panning,

Donald’s tariffs have been stayed.