Donald at the Bat – Day 1448, Epiphany (and parody to “O Tannenbaum’)

Day 1448, Epiphany


The House and Senate meet today

To certify that Biden won.

Republicans seek to delay

But votes were cast and counting’s done.


The meeting’s a formality;

States certified their votes are fair,

No hint of criminality

But Trump hallucinates it’s there.


His addled brain cannot conceive

The voters have cast him aside.

A narcissist cannot believe

Majorities get to decide.


For Trump, it’s an epiphany;

He lost and he lost by a lot

And it was fair,no larceny;

All his attempts to cheat, for naught.

Because of Covid, votes were mailed;

Trump tried delaying with DeJoy.

When they were caught and that ruse failed,

He fell back on a proven ploy.


Suppressing votes has worked just fine

And mostly in old Jim Crow states.

But voters stood for hours in line

And voted at enormous rates.


Though Donald did his best to cheat

And trumped-up charges have been flung,

Trump went down to storied defeat;

There will be books; songs will be sung.



Epiphany  (May be sung to “O, Tannenbaum.”)


Epiphany, Epiphany, it comes in January,

Epiphany, Epiphany, when sales are customary.

Epiphany, the Wise Men came,

To give their gifts; let’s do the same.

Epiphany, Epiphany, it’s for the mercenary.


Post Christmas sales, post Christmas sales, will save you lots of money.

Post Christmas sales, post Christmas sales, get something for your honey.

Though there may be six feet of snow,

Just bundle up, get out and go.

Post Christmas sales, post Christmas sales, will make a blizzard sunny.


Epiphany, Epiphany, thy very name entices.

Epiphany, Epiphany, the thought of sales suffices.

It’s time to start your shopping spree,

If Jesus saves, then so should we.

Epiphany, Epiphany, how lovely are thy prices.


(Verse for 2021)

The Democrats, the Democrats, just won a big election.

The Democrats, the Democrats, went in a new direction.

For Ossoff won against Perdue

And Warnock just beat Loeffler, too.

The Democrats, the Democrats, deflated Trump’s erection.