Donald at the Bat – Day 1190, Opening Georgia (original song)

Day 1190, Opening Georgia                


The barbers down in Georgia use fruit pickers to cut hair.

Hair stylists all use robots, which they must program with care.

When you get a massage, they use a squeegee on a stick

And six foot needles for tattoos, so no one will get sick.


The strippers all wear face masks, while they take off all the rest.

The same for art class figure models, when they pose undressed.

They’re doing everything to stop persistence of disease.

In Georgia, it is better if you fart than if you sneeze.


Chorus:  Can you massage with social distancing?  I’d like to know.

Are folks out in your waiting room just sitting on death row?

Crowd into church on Sundays, although COVID may still lurk.

The governor in Georgia says that everything will work.


South Carolina, Florida, have said they’ll open, too.

Can they do this and curb disease?  They say they’re hoping to.

Some governors seem willing to buy profits with our lives.

They have a science allergy, so facts just give them hives.


The Donald made the CDC take its prediction back,

There’ll be another peak this fall when COVID will attack.

Trump says if there are “embers,” then we’ll quickly stamp them out.

How we’re supposed to do that though, Trump left us all in doubt.


Chorus: Can you massage with social distancing….