Chorus:
Help Trump stay out of jail.
Though he is fraudulent.
Keep Donald out of jail,
Make him the president.
Trump must not go to jail,
We may get violent.
Help Trump stay out of jail,
To run the government.

Verse:
Trump faces ninety-one felony counts.
The judgement he owes from his civil suits mounts,
For rape and fudging his business accounts.
Courts have concluded that Trump is a crook.

To see for yourself, you just have to look.
Trump breaks almost every law in the book.
And now Jack Smith has put Trump on the hook.
If he’s convicted, should he go to jail?

Chorus:
Help Trump stay out of jail.
Give him immunity.
Keep Donald out of jail.
Give him impunity.
If Donald goes to jail,
It’s an indignity.
Help Trump stay out of jail.
He’s our divinity.

Donald’s a crook; Trumpists know but don’t care.
What is far worse is that Biden is there,
Acting as president, which we can’t bear.
Trump is our Savior and should be the boss.

Joe’s DOJ has nailed Trump on the cross,
Courts have put Donald in legal hot sauce.
Will legal judgements serve as a tax loss?
Will “guilty” verdicts land Donald in jail?

Chorus:
Help Trump stay out of jail.
We can’t let him do time.
Keep Donald out of jail,
Make him immune from crime.
If Donald goes to jail,
He’ll rot in slime and grime.
Help Trump stay out of jail.
Trump’s life should be sublime.

The Roberts Court ruled that Donald may run.
Though, with indictments, he’s under the gun.
With ninety-one, Trump is second to none.
Plus, civil judgements might make him go broke.

Fraud, defamation, an ill-advised poke,
A half billion judgement isn’t a joke.
It’s so much money, Trump might have a stroke.
And “guilty” verdicts may send him to jail.

Chorus:
Help Trump stay out of jail.
Who cares what juries say.
Keep Donald out of jail,
And damn the DOJ.
If Donald goes to jail,
We’ll make Joe Biden pay.
Help Trump stay out of jail,
We’re with him, come what may.

Donald Trump’s speech is a word salad mess.
Weekly his mental acuity’s less.
What’s going on here? We don’t have to guess.
It is a malady everyone knows.

When Trump gives speeches, dementia now shows.
And, if you’re watching, you see how it grows.
It’s somewhat like when McConnell just froze.
And neither of them would do well in jail.

Chorus:
Help Trump stay out of jail,
Though he’s incompetent.
Keep Donald out of jail.
Though he is fraudulent.
Trump must not go to jail.
We must be lenient.
Help Trump stay out of jail.
Make him our president.

(1) A proposed campaign song defending Trump’s main reason for running for president in 2024.