March 14, The Spine of Mike Pence

March 14, The Spine of Mike Pence


Well, Mike Pence has finally criticized Trump

For his insurrection and its violence.

Although Mike’s remarks did not burn Donald’s rump,

At least Mike Pence showed he has taken offense.


Are we now watching Pence evolving a spine,

To join other vertebrates walking the Earth?

He won’t talk to DOJ.  Is that a sign

Mike’s still the invertebrate he’s been from birth?


We’ve all read reports from the Gridiron Club

That Pence gave a speech saying Donald was wrong.

But Mike has taken so long; “aye, there’s the rub.” (1)

One speech won’t make voters think Pence is King Kong.


The very first vertebrates were jawless fish,

Evolving before the Devonian years.  (2)

Mike Pence is so late he still looks like a squish.

Which, sadly for Mike, will not earn him three cheers.


Mike Pence says of Trump, he’ll let history judge,

But won’t talk to Congress or the DOJ.

Just like jawless fish that got stuck in the sludge,

Will Mike fossilize, then be put on display?


The spine Mike’s evolving appears incomplete.

Devonian fish did a much better job.

We fear that poor Mike is unfit to compete,

A jawless invertebrate, scared by Trump’s mob.


  • See William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet,” Act 3, scene 1.
  • The Devonian age ranged from about 415 to 350 million years ago (mya.) The spine started developing in the Cambrian (ca 542-486 mya) and continued to fully developed bony fish through the Ordovician (486-440 mya) and Silurian (440-415 mya) ages.  Large, vertebrate fish such as Tiktaalik roseae began to crawl out of the water onto the land about 375 mya.