January 10, Restoring the Range (Parody to ‘Home on the Range’)

January 10, Restoring the Range (May be sung to Home on the Range) (1)


Oh, give us a home

Where the bison can roam,

And the deer and the antelope graze.

Where the wandering herds

Drop their nourishing turds

And the skies are not cloudy with haze.


Let’s restore the range

Where the ungulates may roam and graze,

Where the wandering herds

And the migrating birds

Are delights to our eyes as we gaze.


New flowers are grown

From the seeds that are sown

By the bison as they wander through.

Products of GI tracts

And their urine attracts

Lots of insects that like stinky goo.


Let’s restore the range

To its natural ecology,

Where the wandering herds

And their urine and turds

Fertilize prairie biology.


The tall prairie grass

Grows as high as your ass

And the bison herds have coevolved.

Then the cows introduced

And our plowing produced

Blowing dust which has not yet resolved. (2)


Let’s restore the range,

Where the ungulates migrate and graze.

Where a large bison herd,

As you surely have heard

Brings the land back to its good old days.


  • Inspired by Jim Robbins, “Establishing a New Home for Bison to Roam,” New York Times, section D, page 8, January 10, 2023.
  • The great Dust Bowl of the 1930s was the worst example.