Donald at the Bat – Day 502, Primary Elections

Day 502, Primary Elections (This may be sung to “Onward, Christian Soldiers,”) (1)

Onward, White Supremacists, marching as to war.

Could you please keep marching, ‘til you’re out the door?

White folks are superior; that’s what you all yell

But no one would think so, if they got to know you well.

Onward, White Supremacists, expel black, brown, and Jew.

Jesus Christ was Jewish.  But, what’s that to you?


Onward, Christian candidates, marching as to war.

Is the Cross of Jesus going on before?

Will Christ hand out mulligans for your Trump support?

Did you do it to get judges who will not abort?

Onward, Christian candidates.  What if, on Judgement Day,

You would hear Saint Peter tell you he was gay?


Stand up, Trump supporters.  Do not take a knee

When our anthem’s playing.  (Then speech is not free.)

Donald disinvited a pro football team,

When they disagreed with him, he said that they blaspheme.

Onward, Trump supporters, come and join his holy war,

Unless you have bone spurs, and can march no more.


Backward, you Republicans to the Cambrian. (2)

Backbones weren’t evolved yet; fossils just begun.

Ethics weren’t invented yet, none to compromise.

Since there was no spoken language, there could be no lies.

Silence, you Republicans and you may keep your seat.

Or, perhaps your silence will lead to your defeat.


  1. “Onward, Christian Soldiers,” original words by Sabine Baring-Gould, music by Sir Arthur Sullivan.
  2. The Cambrian Age, about 540-490 million years ago.  The “Cambrian Explosion,” evolved lots of different creatures with shells, hence fossils.  Vertebral columns and brain cases came along a little later, in the Ordovician, about 490-440 million years ago.