Donald at the Bat – Day 1074, Christmas Hatred (parody to “Onward Christian Soldiers”)

Day 1074, Christmas Hatred (1)


Onward, Christian congregants, worshipping well-armed.

When someone starts shooting, fewer will be harmed.

If somebody draws a gun and starts spraying lead,

Others can draw theirs as well and shoot the bastard dead.

Onward, Christian congregants, attend your church well-armed.

If there are mass shooters, do not be alarmed.


Jews were stabbed at Hanukkah’s Festival of Light.

What should have been joyous, was a grisly night.

If, like Christians, they were armed, they would all survive,

For machete are no match for a Colt .45.

Jews were stabbed at Hanukkah, which made a grisly night.

Next year, bring your pistols, keep the evening bright. (2)


In this year at Christmas time, hatred fills the air.

Texas or New York, the haters do not care.

Hate crimes have been on the rise, both with knives and lead;

Christian blood and Jewish blood, they both flow just as red.

Why is hatred on the rise, the new normality,

When all men are brothers, all one family? (3)


Must we arm our worshippers?  Isn’t that insane?

Mixing prayers with bullets ought to be profane.

No one seems to be immune from the haters’ ire.

Isn’t there a better way than just returning fire?

Love and understanding have been left out in the wings,

Though they’re in the carols everybody sings.


(1)  May be sung, as usual, to Onward, Christian Soldiers, lyrics by Sabine Baring Gould, music by Sir Arthur Sullivan.

(2)  These first two verses reflect the comments, after the shooting in a Texas church, made by Dan Patrick, Lieutenant Governor of Texas.  He noted that the whole incident was over in six seconds. Only three people died, including the shooter. A good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun.  Problem solved.

(3)  The knife wielding assailant at the New York rabbi’s Hanukkah party had, what is by now, common anti-Semitic literature in his home.  Murderous expressions of Jew-hatred are clearly on the rise.