December 9, Brittney Griner’s Home
It’s huge news, a certain headliner!
The Russians released Brittney Griner!
It wasn’t smooth sailin’;
We left behind Whelan.
The deal we made could have been finer.
Vlad Putin had put out a feeler:
He wanted back Bout, the arms dealer.
Since he wanted Viktor,
Is that why he picked her?
He knew she would be a scene stealer.
But Paul’s case is more complicated;
That’s why he’s not been extricated.
They charged him with spying.
But we say they’re lying,
The charges they’ve made, fabricated.
White bigots have voiced an objection,
A racism poisoned injection.
For bringing Ms. Griner
Home on a jetliner,
Freed someone of the wrong complexion.
All travelers risk Russian kidnapping;
They might get arrested while napping.
Their Russian vacations
May have complications,
Like FSB at their doors, rapping.
Depending on negotiations
To get home from enemy nations,
Requires some horse trading;
While you’re in jail, waiting,
And you’ll have unending frustrations.