Out on Fifth Avenue, randomly shootin’,
Praise from Kim Jung Un and bombs dropped by Putin,
Living the life of dictators and kings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Dressing rooms, bedrooms, hotel rooms with porn stars,
Dreaming that Hillary winds up behind bars,
Treating all women like they’re my playthings.
These are a few of my favorite things.

Not paying lawyers, not paying contractors,
Cheating on taxes and finagle factors,
Falsified records without attached strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the law bites,
When the truth stings,
When I’m feeling bad,
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Greasy cheeseburgers and warm apple strudel,
Treating the government like it was feudal,
Top secret documents, tied up with strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Plot insurrection with no one recording
And no one caring which papers I’m hoarding,
Undying loyalty, no one who sings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Treating my generals like my chess pieces,
Demanding loyalty that never ceases.
Government in which I hold the pursestrings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the law bites,
When the truth stings,
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad.

(1) Sing to “My Favorite Things,” from “The Sound of Music,” by Rogers and Hammerstein, 1959.