Oh friends! Not these tunes!
Rather, let’s join voices in a happier song.
Sing one that’s full of joy.

Joyous! Joyous!

Donald’s the new president
Of Kennedy’s Performing Arts. (3)
Never been to one event,
How will he move our minds and hearts?
Will his magic draw us all in?
Will his spirit now inspire?
Now that the elites have fallen,
Donald gets to choose the choir.

First, the orchestra examined:
DOGE will score efficiency.
Players must be re-examined,
Prove to Musk their loyalty.
Donald will rely on Elon
And ask him to take a look.

Find where funding may be withdrawn
And who ought to get the hook.

Bring the geeks with their computers;
Find where dollars could be saved.
Make all players doubt their futures;
Root out those who’ve misbehaved.
Violins seem too abundant;
Why use ten when two would do?
This strikes Donald as redundant;
It looks like some cuts are due.

Cut the fiddles down to just two;
Dump the players from Japan.
That will fit with Donald’s plan.
Then, there’s still much more to undo.

There’s no need for repetition
Players playing the same notes.
Hand those folks their hats and coats.
That will start the Trump transition.

Players in the other sections
Should, by now be taking notes.
Donald rubs his hands and gloats.
As they vie for his affections.

We will save a ton of money,
Orchestra cut down to size.
For our leader, skies are sunny,
Who needs arts to subsidize?
Getting rid of excess players,
Cutting our payroll way down.
Benefits all our taxpayers,
They’ll all be gone by sundown. (4)

(1) This may be sung to the chorale in the last movement of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony. Beethoven used a poem by Joseph Schiller, An Die Freude, which he set to the familiar melody. These words here follow the rhyme and rhythm of Schiller closely. Listen to a performance and you will hear that the last four lines of the first three, eight-line verses are repeated before moving on to the next eight-line verse.
(2) There is a Christian hymn, “Joyful, joyful, we adore thee…” which is based on Beethoven’s melody as well. It is just sung as four eight-line verses. The introductory lines that Beethoven wrote are omitted.
(3) The Kennedy Performing Arts Center in Washington DC.
(4) All major symphony orchestras have about a hundred players. In many sections, (strings are the best example,) all the players play the same notes. From a pure efficiency analysis, a lot of salary money could be saved by cutting out all this repetition. Donald and Musk may then move on to the music itself, cutting out all the repeated phrases. Concerts won’t be as loud or as long.