I can’t stop loving you, my Presidency;
I still have fantasies of autocracy.
I can’t stop lusting to be Putin or Xi,
When I am dictator with full immunity.

Those White House hours, that I once knew,
Those memories are making me blue.
They say that time heals a broken heart.
Not if I’m doing time, and I might start.

I can’t stop telling you, that I topped my class.
When even teachers would kiss my ass.
I dream that I’m supreme, like Putin and Xi,
Free to do what I want, with impunity.

Those happy hours, when free to screw
Porn stars and Playmates when I wanted to,
They indicted me and put me on trial.
Now I’m a felon and going senile.

I can’t stop running for my Presidency.
I crave my fantasies of autocracy.
I can’t stop dreaming that I’m Putin or Xi.
When I am dictator, with full immunity.

(1) May be sung to “I Can’t Stop Loving You,” by Don Gibson. I personally think that the Ray Charles version is the best.