I sing of the Ediacaran and the GI tract, (1)
Its oral and then anal pores preceding lifeforms lacked.
There’ve been a lot of changes in six hundred million years,
From anatomic to linguistic shifting of the gears.

The anus first developed in the Ediacaran,
In vermiform metazoans before the Cambrian.
A GI tract from mouth to anus finally poked through.
And later, lots more changes that would lead to me and you.

The mouth developed first and early fauna used it for
Both eating and expelling waste: in-out through the same pore.
Which means at dinner parties in the Ediacaran,
They had to pause between each course to barf into a can.

Now, from this ancient practice, our bullshitters carry on
The crap they belch has been remembered in our lexicon.
Bullshitters first, then assholes, have now sometimes coalesced,
As listening to politicians often may attest.

When anal pores had first evolved from GI lengthening,
It seemed the Ediacaran had made a useful thing.
Then languages evolved and every feature got a name
And then came connotations and their meanings weren’t the same.

The appellation, “asshole” means one’s personality,
What others think of him or her in their totality.
Bullshitter means how someone speaks; asshole means how they seem.
Two twists of meaning that emerged in evolution’s scheme.

Six hundred million years ago, we got our GI tract,
Now modified both fore and aft, developments we’ve tracked,
And followed through the Cambrian when it made shell and bone, (2)
Which left a lot of fossils showing how species have grown.

From oral intake to outflow through the first anal pore,
Our social slang evolved describing people we deplore.
Since Trump likes how behinds are framed on folks supporting him
Some men and women sculpt their asses working in the gym.

We also worship beauty in the shapes ‘round our front end,
(With minor variations plastic surgeons often mend.)
Our lips and noses reconfigured, as are cheeks and eyes;
Physician sculptors alter both their contours and their size.

So, when Trump sees a well-configured ass that he admires,
(Both male and female, for it seems that both can light his fires,) (3)
Does Donald know his lust is from six hundred million years
Of evolution of a tube that first poked out our rears?

(1) The Ediacaran Age, from around 600 to 540 million years ago, evolved a lot
of complex organisms, but fossils are rare because shells and bones had not
yet evolved.
(2) Because of shells and bones, we have found a huge number of fossils in the
“Cambrian Explosion,” from about 540-490 million years ago.
(3) Senator John Husted of Ohio and Nicki Minaj, singer-songwriter from
Trinidad.