May 15, The Lawsuit Blues  (1)

 

I got a feelin’ called the blues, Oh Lord

Since she sued me for assault.

Lord, who knew she’d blow a fuse

And the court find me at fault, Oh Lord?

 

One day my pecker went astray;

Now they say that I must pay.

Not my type, not my type,

Oh, wait, she looked like Marla.

Lord, I would admit it if she’d call me, “Sweet daddy.”

 

Had a beautiful dream.

I can’t believe it’s all over,

Held to account, it seems.

It’s just my style to cop a feel,

I just could not believe her “no!” was real.

They found me liable;

I’ve got the Lawsuit Blues.

 

 

Well, I’m in love, I’m in love with myself; I’m a star.

It’s just that simple for me.

Yes, I’m in love, I’m in love with myself; I’m a star.

Everyone else should love me.

I groped and I stroked; and she said that I poked.

Then she pushed me away.

And then she went and sued me.

And now I have to pay.

 

I’ve got a feelin’ called the blues, Oh Lord

Since I groped her in the store.

Lord, this is the kind of news

That a star like me deplores, Oh Lord.

 

On that day she told me, “goodbye,”

I wasn’t there, or was I?

Who did her?  I didn’t,

I would, no I wouldn’t.

Lord, all women ought to think of me as, “Sweet daddy.”

 

Such a beautiful dream,

It should have all blown over.

She didn’t even scream.

I love to grope and cop a feel

Lord, when you’re a star, it is no big deal.

But now I’m liable;

I’ve got the Lawsuit Blues.

 

• May be sung to “The Lovesick Blues,” a 1921 Tin Pan Alley song, by Cliff Friend and Irving Mills. It was recorded by Hank Williams in 1948 and was an instant hit as a country and western song. My favorite version on YouTube is by Brandi Carlisle.