Onward, TACO Grande, lead your tariff war,
Like no other taco that we’ve had before.
Pollo con frijoles, cerdo con queso,
But Trump does not serve cerveza, that you must forego. (3)

Refrain:
Onward! TACO Grande, lead your tariff war.
China is El Toro; Trump’s our matador.

We know Donald’s planning mostly is slipshod,
Rules and regulations, all stomped on roughshod.
But we’re undivided, ‘gainst the Democrats.
Ole’ por El TACO Grande, and the autocrats.

Refrain:
Onward! TACO Grande, lead your tariff war.
We’ve been getting ripped off, but Trump says, “No more.”

With El TACO Grande, MAGAts will all thrive.
We’re safe in our borders, migrants can’t arrive.
We are not divided, stand in unity.
Trump does anything he wants; he has immunity.

Refrain:
Onward! TACO Grande, lead your tariff war.
We’ve been getting ripped off; TACO says, “No more!”

China sells us products, doesn’t buy as much.
TACO gets our cash back with his Midas touch.
Mexico and Canada will feel TACO’s bite.
Even penguins will be tariffed, feeling TACO’s might. (4)

Final Refrain:
Viva! TACO Grande, lead your tariff war.
We stand in your front lines. (Why are our butts sore?)

(1) On May 2, Robert Armstrong, a Financial Times columnist, coined the nickname, TACO for Trump. It stands for Trump Always Chickens Out, referring to Trump’s habit of announcing new tariffs then backing out when he gets pushback.
(2) Sing to Onward, Christian Soldiers, original lyrics by Sabine Baring Gould, 1865, and music by Sir Arthur Sullivan, 1871.
(3) Donald Trump is a teetotaler.
(4) Trump has also listed Heard and McDonald Islands on his tariff list. They are inhabited only by penguins and seals.