A machine gun can’t be called a machine gun
If not engineered like we formerly knew.
The old ways, the only ways things should be done.
So, it’s not a “machine” if it is too new?
This means that a “bump stock” does not qualify.
It’s too novel a way to shoot lightning fast (1)
A hail of bullets, so more victims will die,
Just like the prohibited guns of the past.
A duck’s not a duck, though it swims, walks, and quacks? (2)
The Supreme Court, by flapping just its right wing,
Is helping mass shooters renew their attacks,
And go kill at will with their new-fangled thing.
It is bad enough Blacks are not slaves anymore
And liberals have made us let women vote.
Nostalgia for old times, long past days of yore…
Our old definitions should be “all she wrote.”
“A machine gun cannot be a machine gun,”
That’s what Thomas and the right-wingers just said. (3)
But the deaths they will cause cannot be undone,
Those shot by such non-machines will all stay dead.
We’ve grown used to Thomas ignoring a gift
When he’s filling out his financial report. (4)
His omissions on forms are just simple grift.
But now he facilitates killing for sport.
Justice Thomas aside, five others agreed
That a machine gun is not a machine gun.
That’s what our right-wing Supreme Court has decreed.
In life and death’s battle, death just won this one.
Old time definitions, committing new crimes,
Denying reality, killing for sport,
Nonsense is becoming a sign of the times.
Let’s thank Donald Trump and his new Supreme Court. (5)
(1) See Justice Thomas’s tortured reasoning for saying that a bump stock doesn’t turn a semi-automatic rifle into a machine gun (which is what it’s designed to do.)
(2) See Justice Sotomayor’s dissent, which she read out loud in court.
(3) The vote was 6-3, divided along the usual political lines.
(4) Over the years, Justice Thomas has neglected to report about four million dollars in travel and other gifts from his favorite billionaire.
(5) All three Trump appointed justices voted for this absurdity.