Pete Hegseth needs the fiercest fighter
To fight for a fat nipple biter.
His favorite hormone,
High testosterone,
Is found in a bareback bronc rider.

Whenever our troops get in tussles,
Pete wants them to have bulging muscles:
Prime male specimens
With high androgens,
And blood full of bright red corpuscles. (2)

He also wants skins to be paler,
And fewer females (who are frailer.)
So, low melanin
And no estrogen.
Real monsters, like Vlad the Impaler. (3)

Pete wants all our troops to be tougher
And that should make our armies rougher.
Forget high I. Q.
For Donald’s next coup,
He just needs rough, tough, fisticuffers.

So, Pete’s ordered male hormone testing.
It’s crazy but he isn’t jesting.
Our fighters will win
When they’re “high T” men,
Who also do female molesting.

(1) Hegseth is referring to high levels of testosterone, “high T.” Male
testosterone levels have a very wide “normal” range, which varies
considerably with age.
(2) High testosterone levels aid muscle building and also increase red blood cell
synthesis. Some anemia in older males can be partially caused by
decreasing testosterone levels.
(3) Vlad the Impaler, 1431-1476, Romania, was the possible inspiration of the
character, Dracula, written by Bram Stoker. Look him up.