June 14, Southern Baptist Preachers (parody to Onward, Christian Soldiers) (1)

Onward, you misogynist, Southern Baptist males,
No more female preachers, bigotry prevails.
Christ, our royal Master, was both God and man.
Women, as our ministers, are not God’s holy plan.
Onward, Baptist ministers, without a skirt in sight.
Gender roles, God-given: blasphemous to fight.

There are women ministers, who must be thrown out.
It is Holy Scripture that these ladies flout.
We’ll expel the churches where women sermonize;
God’s divisions are quite clear; we will not compromise.
Women in the pulpit stand against God’s gender plans.
Next come homosexuals, then we fear, the trans.

Women in the ministry frighten old white men.
Genesis records that Eve caused Man’s first sin.
Without a Y chromosome, women may not lead.
That’s a point of Scripture old white men will not concede.
Onward, Southern Baptist men, you march as God’s right hand.
You are Christ’s own leaders; follow God’s command.

(1) New York Times, front page, June 14, 2023