Trump’s fevered brain has to own Greenland,
A frozen, unspoiled, and pristine land.
Should Greenland object
To Donald’s project,
Then Trump says he’ll have the marines land.

That’s breaking our treaty with NATO,
Which could be a real hot potato.
Though stoplights flash bright,
Trump might start a fight,
(To honor a pact’s not his credo.)

So Donald Trump thinks it’s unfair if
The NATO folks act as a sheriff.
He cries, “Blasphemy!”
“You all must serve me!”
“Or I’ll charge your nations a tariff.” (1)

If Trump wants to have his own island,
That he can point to and call, “my land,”
Here’s something that fits,
Straight from Borowitz, (2)
Sell him Epstein’s ass, tits, and thigh land.

For Jeff trafficked underage females,
As playthings for superrich (he)males,
Caribbean place,
Not frozen air base,
As detailed in some of his emails.

Rich men bought trips from Epstein’s bookie,
Partaking of underage nookie.
We’ve heard Donald Trump
Say he likes to hump.(3)
Did Jeff sell him sex with a rookie?

(1)New York Times, January 17, 2026.
(2)Andy Borowitz first proposed that an appropriate island for Trump to
own would be Jeff Epstein’s Caribbean Island.
(3)The infamous bus ride during his first campaign.