South Park made fun of Donald’s schlong, implying it’s a “schort.” (1
Stormy Daniels gave the world an under-oath report
Will Donald dare to file an “How long is my schlong?” lawsuit?
Discovery and depositions ought to be a hoot.

From Donald’s sexual history, we’ve data to be mined.
How many girls and women could we find who are inclined
To be deposed on what they saw on Donald, when, and where?
And then perhaps to estimate the length that they saw there.

Then come statistics, charts, and graphs, limits of confidence,
And all objective data with no hint of prurience,
With sample sizes large enough, the certainty should rise,
If Donald has a schlong or “schort,” and should he win a prize.

Does Donald Trump have penis envy, and compared to whom?
Does Donald think his schlong stands out, the class of any room?
So, ladies, we need lots of data, which we must write down.
You may go down in history, when you describe this clown.

Trump’s also in the Epstein files where schlong length didn’t count.
Instead, the question there is where and whom did Donald mount?
For Epstein had rich lechers mounting teeny bopper kids.
Where who did what, with which, to whom was opened up for bids.

Was Donald caught with his pants down and his “schort” standing up?
To advertise, “Come one, come all, for Donald wants to schtup? (2)
“It may cause just a tickle, (if it isn’t very long,)
“Or could go down in history to celebrate in song.”

(1) Schlong is a Yiddishism from the German, Die Schlang, meaning a snake. The migration from German to Yiddish to English slang should be obvious. “Schort,” is a neologism contributed by Haldane E. King, one of my fraternity brothers from the ATO house at Stanford in the 1960s.

(2) Schtup, is again a Yiddishism, meaning to have sex with someone. Depending on regional accents, schtup is an acceptable rhyme with “up.”